As though experiencing an earthquake, mothers of daughters may find their lives shifted, their deep feelings unearthed, the balance struck in all relationships once again off kilter. At different ages daughters will trigger different reactions in their mothers. For instance, a mother who feels like she is good friends with her year-old may find that she has a much harder time communicating with her daughter once she turns
Many parents these days seem afraid of their own children. Teenage girls particularly can be intimidating, and there's many a parent who hides in that haven of non-confrontation, the bedroom, safe in the knowledge that at least their daughter is off the streets at 14, whatever she might be doing in the living room with her friends. Girls grow up fast, display alarming savviness not to be confused with maturity and know way more than us when it comes to the important things in life -- technology and sex.
As a therapist and the mother of three teenagers myself, I know firsthand that the more you push your kids, the more they get defensive and dig in their heels. They become reactive in the form of explosiveness or shutting down and ignoring you. Clamming up or exploding are both ways your teenagers attempt to manage their stress and defend themselves.
And if I don't want to deal with something, if I just don't want to spark another long, drawn-out, tearful argument, I kind of avoid the subject or rationalize that kids will work things out on their own. Sometimes that really is the right approach. Sometimes, I'm not so sure. Just a few weeks ago, I got third-hand information that one of my girls may not be behaving as nicely and inclusively as she should.
Undoubtedly, communication between mothers and daughters is usually very special. In most cases, girls prefer to talk with their mothers and place their trust in her. This happens when communication is fluid and natural.
Moms find themselves grappling with the hurt of rejection while fiercely trying to protect their daughters from the pain they themselves may have experienced as a teen. The short answer is yes, by fostering true connection through authentic communication. Authentic communication encourages both moms and daughters to truly see each other for whom they are; to drop the expectations, lose the defensiveness and hear each other in a meaningful way.
Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Verified by Psychology Today. Tech Support.
Teenage girls have a lot on their minds, and because they're young, sometimes don't know how to cope with it all. This unfortunate fact can sometimes create tension between them and you. But what they may not know is that you are their biggest fan, and this article will tell you how to show them that, and how to develop a comfortable, expressive, loving relationship with her. To create this article, volunteer authors worked to edit and improve it over time.
Mother-daughter relationships are complex and diverse. Some mothers and daughters are best friends. Others talk once a week.