WHEN it comes to sex you might think youth is a bonus and your twenties is often seen as the sexual peak. The women in their late 30s and above were most confident in their own skin, scoring 10 per cent higher than the middle age group, who were the least happy with how they looked. The youngest age group scored in the middle of the two for how attractive they felt but scored the lowest when asked about how often they orgasm.
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous.
You probably already know that the intensity of a woman's orgasm can vary wildly We can give women light, playful orgasms that make the hairs on her skin stand while she giggles and squeals. We can give them deep, full body orgasms that start in her hips and send pulsating waves of pleasure down to her toes and back again.
To hear a woman say she achieved a vaginal orgasm is a rare occurrence. Historically, there has been a large knowledge gap when it comes to the science of female orgasms. The same study found that less than 1 in 5 women are able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation. As it happens, achieving vaginal orgasm is a challenging task that requires concentration, lubrication, a vibrator, some weird positions, and exercises.
No one actually needs to rally for the wonders of an orgasm when there's enough research—as psychologist and sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini explains—that the tremor-inducing release of serotonin and endorphins can boost the immune system and decrease stress and anxiety. But when there's still a wide "pleasure gap" to bridge today—the term describing the slim number of women who experience orgasms during sex in relation to men—the main question is how. Below, we consulted advice from across the scientific spectrum, from medical studies to sexperts to sex therapists, on ways to enhance the female orgasm and feel connected to your partner without giving up your primal right to come.
This is how the orgasm fairy tale goes: You meet Prince Charming, and from the very first time, he knows exactly how your body works. There's some kissing, some foreplay, some moaning and, after maybe 10 minutes of intercourse, bam—a shattering climax for two. Angels may even sing.
You can still have a great time without having one. Which is why the first tip on our guide to having better orgasms is experimenting, and being open to trying new things. I asked the masturbation geniuses behind OMGYes for their tips on having the best orgasms, and their response was eye-opening.
We respect your privacy. The key is spending more time on foreplay and learning about the two spots that, when stimulated, can lead to a female orgasm. It also doesn't hurt to understand which sexual positions provide the best chance for orgasm.
Even just the thought of that one encounter can get you going all over again! I love having one with my partner but I recently gave myself several orgasms just using my vibrator. My face was flush, my legs were numb, and I honestly felt like such a bad ass!
But they exist, and with a little awareness and attention, you can get the Os you deserve, from the fireworks-on-display kind to the calm oh-my-gods. When you find yourself missing out on the Big O, there are three likely culprits: expectations, communication, and method. And alongside all of that, experimenting is required.
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