And I get it, it really might feel like an encouraging thing to say. The underlying meaning is, "I think you're awesome just the way you are, and others will, too. The very thing that's attractive about "being yourself" is that you are not aware of yourself when you're in that state. The advice to "just be yourself" then has the opposite effect, since it puts your attention back on you -- exactly where you don't want it!
This is a book written by a guy who's best friend taught him how to date girls better, because she dated girls too.
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