My microwave beeps three times to indicate that a tube sock filled with uncooked rice is sufficiently heated. I enter the kitchen apprehensively, first making sure my roommate has left for the day. We meet weekly via Skype to discuss my training regimen, and I receive occasional emails reminding me to update my training log.
Where would the world be without Reddit? Reddit gives those without a voice a gigantic PA system and — as it happens — a lot of those voices talk about penises. Obviously, from here on out everything is pretty NSFW, in case you were wondering.
I went to shift the angle of my hips at the exact moment he broke rhythm and give me a surprise, extra hard and fast thrust. This completely destroyed my perineum. I lived with my grandma at the time, and I couldn't get the tear to stop bleeding.
When I was in my 20s, the bar I worked at hosted an open mic for musicians, and Matt was one of our regulars. He was tall, broad, unfailingly polite and he sang Tom Waits covers. That was a super-hot combination and one night when I got off my shift a little early, we had some drinks and I took him home. He gave me no warning of what I was about to find.
Although this story is set in high school, let me be clear that the all the characters actually involved in sex are eighteen years or older, usually seniors in the second semester. I was a high school senior in a new york city "elite" private school in the 70s, when this story takes place. The school was a pretty unusual place.
Laziest fucking lay in the world. It was terrible. I kept asking him to ease up and not enter me all the way, and he kept getting over-enthusiastic…I still wonder what the best compromise would have been, since taking all of him was too much for me, but stopping short was not enough for him.
After every sexual escapade my friends and I enjoyed in college, we'd ask each other one very big, important question: "Was he packing the heat? It's almost comical to think having a big penis equates to good sex, because, honestly -- and this is something I wish I could scream at my early something self -- that's just total bullshit. Because those are still great.
Being the devious girl that I am, I snuck into the shower when he was washing off and boldly opened the shower curtain. Seriously… I called him the Anaconda for some time. Years later we got married, and the only experience that topped having the Anaconda being thrust into me was when I gave birth to an 8. Our first time was painful for the both of us.
I dated a dude who was packing a footlong. T he sex was uncomfortable, at best, and he refused to go down on me. I dumped him after a year of making up excuses to not have sex.